Posts by troubled mind

32

Im not sure how much longer i can take this

by DS211 in

jw
friends

i kind of snapped at my wife today...for no reason really.

and in my frustration ive been contemplating just spilling the beans...i know its not the best idea but i do t know how much longer i can lead a double life and hide the truth.

as i still believe in god i feel like a hypocrite.

troubled mind

Is it possible for you to let out a little bit at a time to your wife ? You need to do something if it is affecting your health !

I am the type of person that can not hold in problems for very long with out having health issues like depression, anxiety ,high blood pressure . When I left the JW it was kind of sudden ,and it really took my husband by surprise . If I had to do it over again I would give him more warning, by telling him a bit at a time what was bothering me about our religion . Maybe using some advice from people that understand cult personality ,like Steve Hasson . I was lucky ,even though I botched up how I told my husband ,he eventually came to the same conclusion as I did .

You never know she may have the same feelings as you do and is afraid to express them too ! Use some leading questions with her to find out what she thinks about certain issues ...ask her what she would do ....Help her to start thinking critically looking at different angles besides the JW view .

Good luck

32

NNew member...1st post

by Oh Gawd in

jw
friends

new guy here so i thought i would make a brief introduction.. my exposure to the jw's is indirect, as i have never been a member; however my wife of 22 years grew up in a jw household.

her dad is the grand-pooba or whatever level of "elder" you call it for his kh.

her mom, sister, brother, and their spouses all died in the wool witnesses.

troubled mind

Oh Gawd , thank you for joining you have a very entertaining way of expressing yourself ! Can't wait to hear more from you .

I think your experience is fairly typical with JWs that are highly influential ,and wealthy . I saw it over the yrs in the congregation I was from . Ones that had a lot of family with power positions with in the hall got away with stuff the rank members could never pull off . We had several business owners that were also Elders ,and they too had creative ways around the general counsel everyone else was suppose to follow . For example there was an Elder that had a good job, and was working on his Masters degree so he could get a raise ,his wife worked as a nurse . They had nice cars a large home ,yet he brow beat me for getting a pt job so that my husband, and I could just make our regular bills that came from raising our three small kids . He warned me not to become materialistic , that if I had time to work outside the home then I had time to auxillary pioneer . While he is spending $150 a week to play golf I was making choices on whether I could afford new shoes for my kids or if I needed to go find some at garage sales .

113

Elders receive a report that I am openly displaying false religious symbol

by confusedandalone in

when you look at the image above what do you see?

a sneaker or an outward display that i am now following after another religious group?.

well yesterday i had a 10 minute conversation with an elder who finally got the balls to call me.

troubled mind

good grief !!! Why did you get kicked out of the Jehovah's Witnesses ? Because my shoes had stripes of the wrong color !

They will not stop with this idiocy until they can find something stupid enough to say You ,yourself have disassociated from the congregation by your own actions ...mark my words .

I think you stood your ground well with him . It is amazing how in every case they start off the same way with that serious tone ,and those key words "it has been brought to the Elders attention ",and 'it needs to be dealt with immediately ' . What a load of crap .

8

A true hero who just happens to be an ex-JW atheist!

by JimmyPage in

jw
friends

.

http://www.illinoishomepage.net/story/family-of-teen-accident-victim-searches-for-good-samaritan/d/story/lpavdbwgvuguebr8zo6ypw?fb_action_ids=10153492532150088&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_ref=.uor3meitu4g.like&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%7b%2210153492532150088%22%3a1392564760985216%7d&action_type_map=%7b%2210153492532150088%22%3a%22og.likes%22%7d&action_ref_map=%7b%2210153492532150088%22%3a%22.uor3meitu4g.like%22%7d.

troubled mind

Wait ,I was thinking of his brother Dave ,but my husband knows Kent from yrs ago working at assemblies when they were young .

Good thing he came by when he did !

8

A true hero who just happens to be an ex-JW atheist!

by JimmyPage in

jw
friends

.

http://www.illinoishomepage.net/story/family-of-teen-accident-victim-searches-for-good-samaritan/d/story/lpavdbwgvuguebr8zo6ypw?fb_action_ids=10153492532150088&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_ref=.uor3meitu4g.like&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%7b%2210153492532150088%22%3a1392564760985216%7d&action_type_map=%7b%2210153492532150088%22%3a%22og.likes%22%7d&action_ref_map=%7b%2210153492532150088%22%3a%22.uor3meitu4g.like%22%7d.

troubled mind

Interesting , I know him too ! So Jimmy ,do you also know me ?

4

A very dear life long friend died

by KariOtt in

jw
friends

he died a little over 7 months ago.

his liver failed and didn't get the transplant we all were hoping for.

1 of his daughters just latched on to me.

troubled mind

This could be an excellent chance for you to help this young woman learn how to properly deal with people. She IS a teenager don't expect her to act as an adult . She is going through a terrible time in her life ,my goodness just lost her Dad and knows her Mom has very limited time .... Please be a stable adult in her life ,but also have her understand there must be boundaries . Be kind .

26

Did you suffer humiliating childhood experiences as a JW?

by yadda yadda 2 in

in john cedar's (jwsurvey.org) latest excellent article on his blog about a us teacher that got reprimanded for trying to force a jw boy to salute the american flag, he relates a similar childhood experience where he was terribly humiliated at school in view of his classmates.. this reminded me of a similar humiliating experience i suffered at school, when i was 11 years old.

during our school's end of year 'prom night' (not actually called that in the country i live) which was in the style of a disco night, my unbalanced jw mother came to pick me up early and stormed right into the hall and grabbed my arm and pulled me out in front of all my friends right in the middle of the dancing.

on the way out she gave the teachers a lecture about the music being far too loud and how unwholesome the whole thing was for children of my age.

troubled mind

Oh man way too many humiliating experiences to pick from !

I hated my childhood .It is so sad when I look back how everything that could have been a good memory was ruined . For example I came home from kindergarten wanting too go trick or treating ,and my non- witness Dad told my Mom to get me dressed and let me go . She took me to the bathroom ,and slapped me across the face ,then told me to never 'do that to her again in front of my Father ' ! Then she dressed me up like a ballerina and made my brothers take me out .

At school it was a whole different kind of humiliation ...Being set out in the hallway ,desk and all ,during a birthday or holiday celebration ,and having other teachers walk by tsk..tsking you asking what bad behavior you had done to merit sitting out in the hall .

I remember the constant pull of guilt feelings . My regular teacher knew I didn't salute the flag or say the pledge of allegence ,but when a sub came I would pretend to say it because I was afraid . Sometimes teachers would save birthday treats for me and say they were just regular snacks ,and I would feel guilty taking them anyways .

102

Since leaving the truth, do you celebrate holidays, and does your participation in such bring you happiness?

by Stand for Pure Worship in

jw
friends

i ask this respectfully, and do so after watching a favorite show of mine's season opener which had a new years storyline.

hollywood tends to make movies and television show episodes centered around holiday themes appear warm and blissful.

while i'm thankful to have never participated in such holidays, i can't deny my curiosity about ex-jws that do celebrate.

troubled mind

Yes StandsForTrueWorship , I have celebrated all holidays since leaving the Jw form of religion .

I was born and raised as a JW in a divided home ,my Dad was not a Witness ,but allowed my Mother to choose religion for us children . When we were small our Grandparents sent us cards with money ,and a couple of times we got actual wrapped gifts .That didn't happen much though . When we moved closer to my Grandparents we had wonderful holiday dinners at their home .I cherished those memories of visiting relatives ,great food cooking ,adults playing cards as cousins played ...

I left at age 44 and finally all my adult children have left too . We began slowly celebrating and now we are in full swing ,and I can say YES we enjoy it ! None of us practice any type of religion ,but we enjoy the sights and sounds of Christmas . My husband does a huge light and music program in our yard for Halloween and Christmas for the sheer joy of just doing it . He loves a challenge of programming everything into the computer and having all his hard work being enjoyed by neighbors and friends . We have people all over town sending him Thank You cards for doing this at the holidays . We have people tell us how much their little kids are so excited to come by our house at night to see the shows . We find JOY out of watching those families enjoying time together because of something we did .

One of my main concerns while being a Witness was that I felt the joy in life was being sucked out of my soul . Now little things just fill my days with happiness so much so I find myself smiling as I drive alone in my car . Holidays are a big part of that such as remembering a friends birthday with a card or small treat ....it makes another person feel good about themselves .That is a great thing !

You asked if there was one special moment because of a holiday that comes to mind that left me with a cherished memory ,and again I say YES several in fact .My 84 yr old Dad has now been properly remembered on his birthday and at Christmas ,and I saw the sparkle in his eye . My brother ,that I once shunned because of JW doctrine ,is now our go to Thanksgiving dinner home to attend . I am thankful for every dinner with him ,and his family because he FORGAVE me for not treating him the way family should treat family . I will never waste a moment to make a memory ...

15

My friends visitation is tonight all of her JW family will be there

by troubled mind in

today i need some encouraging support ..i will be attending my friends funeral visitation tonight .. we had been jws together since childhood ,and then three yrs ago she was dfd .

we have supported each other these past few yrs with encouragement .she comes from a huge jw family, and they all plan on attending tonight.

i have known them all my life ,and they hate me for leaving the cult.

troubled mind

I have no doubt her JW family loved her .They were visibly upset last night . If only they would learn shunning is an evil ,horrible practice .

I don't want you to think I am an emotional weakling, because that would be far from the truth .However there are still those human moments when I need to hear from those that understand . I held my head high ,because I knew I had been there for her unconditionally .

15

My friends visitation is tonight all of her JW family will be there

by troubled mind in

today i need some encouraging support ..i will be attending my friends funeral visitation tonight .. we had been jws together since childhood ,and then three yrs ago she was dfd .

we have supported each other these past few yrs with encouragement .she comes from a huge jw family, and they all plan on attending tonight.

i have known them all my life ,and they hate me for leaving the cult.

troubled mind

Thanks for all the thoughts .

Things went fairly well all the Witnesses stayed on their own side of the room . We mingled among the normal attendants . She was loved by many and her husbands family and friends filled the place . For three solid hours the line was out the door . Her husbands employer even made a huge financial gesture tonight to help with the medical bills . I think the 'worldly ones ' made a great witness to unconditional friendship and love .

It was awkward at the meal afterwards to see all my old silent 'friends' ,but I positioned myself with my back to most of them and enjoyed the company of others instead .

As to her wishes there was no religious ceremony of any kind only a visitation with the family .